All lies and jest

Still a man he hears what he wants to hear

And disregards the rest.

-The Boxer (Song by Simon and Garfunkel)

I can’t remember why but awhile ago I was attempting to impress someone who knows me (somewhat) with how virtuous I am.

“I only drink on days I work out, after my workout,” I intoned piously.

“Don’t you work out every day?” he inquired.

Well, yes. But that wasn’t the point. Don’t ask too many questions. Haven’t you ever heard of virtue -signalling? (Which of course is just another word for bullshit.) It’s come at us like a tsunami wave bearing down on a tiny Polynesian village with just about the same consequences. And it’s as hard to ignore as a Port-A-Potty set up in your front yard. Like a giant manure-spreader that never runs out of its load.

It’s said that there is nothing new under the sun and while the internet is full of it the old word was self-righteousness and from what I understand it was something to be avoided. Apparently Jesus used to warn the self-righteous Scribes and Pharisees to take a hard look at themselves over 2000 years ago. And Pontius Pilate even famously asked Jesus, “What is Truth,?” during the latter’s trial before his crucifixion. Now we have the internet for every Tom, Dick and Pharisee to signal their righteousness 24/7.

But enough about virtue-signalling. I’m now going to talk about its older, bigger brother… bullshit. I was reminded about its omnipresence in an as unlikely place as a Netflix documentary. It took a junior member of the Mafia to illustrate to me simply that bullshit exists even in the love of my life… hockey. Now hear me out non-hockey fans. I’ll be brief (for once) on the subject.

Seems as if this scion of a New Jersey mob boss loved hockey so much that his Mafiosi dad bought him a low-level professional hockey team in order to amuse himself. The team was named the Danbury Trashers, as the business the father ran in order to launder his money was that of a trash-collecting conglomerate. The team became a fan-favourite and the son used mob money to sign such names as Wayne Gretzky’s kid brother and a lot of Slapshot- style brawlers. Anyway, the team fought and intimidated its way to a league championship shortly before the father was put on trial and sent to jail on an array of racketeering charges. To a hockey-lover such as myself this was terribly unfortunate as it only reinforced the stereotype of the hockey community being a rough, unsavoury crowd. It was further bad news to the many charities this same crime boss had contributed untold thousands to for years. Unlike most of us who prefer to spend whatever we have on ourselves, no matter where it comes from.

What struck me as the most interesting aspect of this unlikely love affair between Danbury, New Jersey and their beloved, brawling pucksters was a comment made by their boss, the convicted felon’s son, who had managed and manipulated the shenanigans every single day of that unlikely season. “People come up to me and talk about their memories and I know what they’re saying is just total bullshit. But it’s real to them- and in the end that’s just like our life, where we can see ourselves as renegades, outlaws or saints, whatever we want to be.”

Ah… yes. Sometimes the most valuable lessons come from the most unlikely sources. Probably the one lesson that made the biggest impression throughout my university days came not from one of my Phd. profs but while I was sitting in the basement. of Munster Hall, my first residence at Bishop’s University.

The line came from the television as the character put his arm around his younger protege and explained why a hard-earned life lesson had exploded a ‘truth’ that the younger fellow had ardently believed all of his life.

“Because bull makes the world go round,” Fonzie said to Richie Cunningham on tv’s ‘Happy Days.’ Years later my future wife confided in me that what impressed her the most, or maybe dismayed her is the better word, was the skepticism with which I greeted everything I heard .

Thank you Arthur Fonzarelli.